I am possibly the most bipolar person ever. I just went from feeling like crap and wanting to watch 500 Days of Summer so I’d have an excuse to cry my eyes out to telling random people how much I appreciate them and laughing at stupid crap and wanting to watch a comedy. Wow wth hahahah
I wanted to tell you that I was always alone,
and that I am always told to step out of my head and start a conversation “for God’s sake.”
But I never wanted to talk to anyone, because no one ever holds conversations in the way novels are written, and trees never have much to say. I guess lying on the grass during warm months isn’t going to help me grow.
I am alone because conversations are embarrassing. Why can the words form in my head but not in my mouth? I am alone.
On a road trip with my father, where the car ride was silent for five hours straight, we parked at a resting spot. And when I was sitting at a table by myself, locking eyes with people who were distancing themselves just as well as I was, an older lady came up to me and asked, “Darling, are you alone?” I responded with a, “No, I am waiting for my father,” because truthfully, I was waiting for him. But it wouldn’t have made a difference, if my father was there or not, if she had sat down and kept me company until he returned, if I was not waiting for anyone at all. Because I was alone. In the center of myself I was alone. Always."
Perfectly describes me 😭
it’s kind of weird knowing that when you sleep, you’re just looking at your eyelids but somewhere in your brain, you are able to produce dreams as if you’re still awake.
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE GIF EVER